How Life Would Be Without You
by xandiira
Summary: What if Blackfire was never arrested for her evil deeds? What if she was going out with Robin? Where's Starfire in all of this? Another summary inside, please R&R.
1. Ch 00: Misery

Summary: What if Blackfire never got caught for the deeds she had done wrong? Plus, she is now an official Titan and going out with … Robin!? Where's Starfire in this whole mess? This fanfic takes place six years after Blackfire's appearance. RobxStar, RobxBlack, RavxBB …  
  
Author's note: Hello, my name is xandiira! I'm glad that you have chosen to read my fanfic. I promise I won't let you all down. Well, this fanfic is dedicated to all the RobinxStarfire fans and the Teen Titan fans around the world! This fanfic is rated R for its language, adult themes, and the mention of Starfire with a bottle of mustardcoming soon to a fanfic near you.  
  
Scroll and enjoy!  
  
: ch. 00 **Misery** :  
  
The hot-headed Tamaranean slammed her fist against her bedroom wall which shook mementos, picture frames, and other what-nots off the shelves. Starfire covered her head with her pillow and tried to block out the sounds coming from the room next to her. The sound of pleasurable screams, moaning, and her sister's laughter had seemed to seep over to her room. Her temper was rising as well as the noises coming from the other room. Would the next door rump fest ever stop?  
  
It had been many years after Blackfire, her one and only devilish sister, came onto the scene. Her friends were quite taken with her once she arrived. There were many things Starfire wanted her sister to experience, but many things that she didn't want her sister to be too fond with. Like her friends … And that one special Titan.  
  
Alas, she was too late to do anything. Right under her nose, Blackfire was already honored a true Teen Titan. Of course she had to be ok with it, of course she had to put on a real smile and a fake mask … It was to make everyone happy-- it was to make her sister happy. Right after, her sister was always the better one … The one who made Raven open up to someone actually, the person who knew how to kick better butt in any video game … And the only one who was able to take Robin away from her.  
  
Koriand'r was able to let the sounds drift away from her ears as she ordered herself to fall asleep …  
  
"Whoa, dude, Star … You look …" Beast Boy began, but was suddenly stopped by a black entity which wrapped around his face.  
  
"Huh?" Starfire scratched her head, not noticing how dragged her face looked. Raven shook her head while reading one of her dark novels.  
  
"B Boy over here is talking nonsense Star, don't worry about him or anything he says about how you look today," Cyborg spoke up after gulping down large portions of bacon.  
  
These were one of the days which Starfire didn't like to come out of her room. For some reason, everyone commented on her on how she looked in the morning. What was up with that? Didn't anyone teach them how to silently comment to themselves?! Star began to grit her teeth as she opened the fridge to grab the carton of milk.  
  
Behind her, laughter wafted into the dining room, and as she turned around, she noticed the boy wonder and her dear, dear sister walk in. Just like every Saturday morning, Robin's face was lit with some kind of proud happiness and Blackfire's laughter was louder than usual … It was way too obvious on what they did the night before.  
  
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow at the leader of the Titans while Cyborg quietly rooted behind him. The other two male titans gave thumbs up to Robin, who grinned at both of them. Raven only gave a glance at Blackfire before rolling her eyes at the boys. How immature they were about the subject of sex, Raven's look expressed what she thought exactly.  
  
Starfire avoided the looks of her fellow teammates as she used the kitchen sink to wash her face. She didn't want her sister, especially, to comment on how grotesque she looked that morning. It was their fault she didn't get any sleep, it was their fault for getting together, it was their fault she was feeling this way … it was their fault she felt this emotion called 'jealousy.'  
  
She jumped as a hand was placed on her shoulder and as she turned around, she was surprised to see Robin staring at her with a worried look. This made a shade of red envelope her cheeks while trying to force herself to look at him. Since their early teens, this was the first time Robin had actually come up to her face-to-face.  
  
"Koriand'r, are you all right?" He asked, and this stung her heart.  
  
There was no more 'Star' or 'Starfire' … there was only 'Koriand'r' now that he and Blackfire got together. She wasn't a special person to Robin anymore, unlike Komand'r … because what Komand'r wanted, she got.  
  
"Why, of course! Why wouldn't I be, Robin? It is a wondrous weekend morning." Fake smile, fake peppy attitude.  
  
"O-okay … if you say so, Sta--" He chuckled a bit as Blackfire wrapped her arms around his and continued,"Koriand'r, sorry."  
  
_No, nothing's ok … not if she's with you_, the younger Tamaranean thought as she looked at the kitchen tile's … as if searching for an answer to all her problems.  
  
: ch. 00 **Misery** :  
  
Be a good person and please review!


	2. Ch 01: Illusions and Reality

**Author's Notes**: Hello, it is xandiira once again bringing you another chapter of How Life Would be Like Without You. I hope this is enough to satisfy your tastes because I worked **extra** hard on this one because I know you don't want another chapter that's only 900 something words. Therefore, I decided to make it longer hopefully to grab more of your attention … Also if you would like to request anything to happen in the story, e-mail me at and I'll see what I can do And for the people who like Blackfire more than Starfire, I think she's ok, but I love Star! In the end, sadly, this will be a StarxRobin fanfic. I'M SORRY!! I know I took a long time like almost TWO months , but I tried by best. Thank you for your patience and wonderful reviews. Here are some of the people who have brightened up my days: 

**Lizzie da multi-fandomholic**also known as Purple Carnation(is this right? ;), **linkinfreak1011**, **robinluver**, **BlackheartSyaoran**, **biglos07**, **AprilKisses**, **deathraveness**, **scribs**, **Edward-McPirate**, **Emma**, **cha-11**, **D-I-WaRiA**, **x the l0ser**, **starfire ewing**, **TearoftheInnocents**, **melliestar**, **HermioneRon 4ever**, and** lovely1**. Thank you soo much

**Summary of Chapter**: Koriand'r wakes up to find Robin sleeping next to her … but is it really him? Moreover, why does Raven want to talk to her after all this time?

: ch. 01 _Illusion_ & **Reality** :

It had been so long since the Tamaranean was able to get a good night's rest-- but why now? Why, all of sudden, was she able to sleep like a normal teenager? Maybe it was the alcoholic beverages she had consumed last night or the fact that it felt like her sister wasn't here … but that would never happen because everyone adored Blackfire and so did _he_.

Koriand'r groaned at her thoughts and shifted her body to the other side. Feeling a slight weight on the opposite side of the bed, she opened her eyes only to be staring at a young man sleeping silently. Her breath caught in the middle of her throat and her heart began racing like those racehorses at the track. Even though her vision was blurry, she could still make out the features of the boy next to her.

Curved but still strong built face, the nice cream complexion, his puckered lips … oh his lips … how she wished that she were her sister at the moment. Maybe thiswhole this wasa dream! _Haha, silly Koriand'r. There's no way he would fall into bed with such a creature like myself_, she thought.

Her hand suddenly stretched out and began to caress his cheek. Seeing his sleeping face made her eyes water. When she felt his hand grasp hers, she gasped quietly and began to tremble. His eyes were opening and there was no explanation she could give to him if he asked her what he was doing in her bed.

"Mmm … Star? What time is it?" Her eyes widened at his calmness.

"Ah, Robin … I think … I think you have mistakened your bed for mine; my whole room for that matter," she replied trying not to freaking out.

She watched him sit up in bed and took notice of his nude upper body! Not even a tank top!! Her tan face began to glow a deep crimson color as she stared at his well-toned chest. Then, he leaned in closer towards the Tamaranean so that their faces were only a few inches away. She could feel his hot breath upon her lips, which made her shudder.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look real beautiful …" The leader of the titans murmured softly as he dipped his head down to brush his lips against hers.

Her breath stopped short in her throat as she tried to regain consciousness from his lips. If this were a dream, she wished for it to never end, but to continue forever and ever. His hands then grasped hers while he kissed her again, this time, she had begun to see fireworks light up in her room. She watched his blue eyes stare deep into her emerald ones, almost as if he knew her deepest secrets.

"Robin …" He placed a finger over her lips as she closed her eyes taking in all of his touches.

"You're so beautiful Star. How could I not recognize it?" Robin murmured to himself, but audible..

_Yes, how could not recognize me anymore_?

"Your silk like skin …" His hand caressed her cheek.

_Why don't you smile at me like you used to_?

"Those emerald jeweled eyes." Her eyes closed slowly as he kissed them both.

_Why don't you say my name like you say it now_?

"Soft, bountiful hair." She could feel his other hand gently slide into her locks even though they were a bit tangled.

_Have you forgotten all about me already_?

"Sweet, red lips …" Koriand'r could now feel his weight shifting to her side and his legs brush against hers.

_Forgotten me so much that I have to dream dreams like this now? Just so, I could feel your touch, hear your voice, and have all of your utmost attention_ …

"I love you Starfire."

- - - - -

A loud buzzer sounded from the little clock next to the Tamaranean's bedside. She reached over and slammed the clock's alarm button off-- yet this caused the whole clock to shatter in the process. In addition, with a groan, the girl rolled over to her side and watched the sun try to pour in behind the dark shades that made it from entering.

From the looks of it, it was another wake-up-at-8:30-A.M routine. Luckily, it was a Saturday, that meant Beast Boy, Cyborg, Robin, and her dearest sister would go clubbing tonight. That was unless there was no emergency call. Sometimes she would go with them, but would usually end up with some strange person who was her "#1 fan" or would be the laughing stock of the whole club. Therefore, in cases like those, she decided to stay home most of the time with Raven, but that girl didn't get out of room that much.

Looking at her dark pink colored carpet, she remembered some of the moments that occurred in that awkward dream. For instance, seeing Robin in her bed for the first time, hearing him talk so intimately with her, and … of course, him saying that he loved her. There was no way in the coldest depths of Hell that that could ever happen. Nevertheless, it felt as if it were so true … So real. His touch, his voice, his everything.

Rising from her bed, she grabbed the lavender towel and bathrobe that slung over her desk chair and thought of starting the day off with a cold shower as she exited her room.

- - - - -

"Goodbye my friends and dear sister! Have a good night out!" Starfire waved from the door that led to the garage.

"Bye Star," Cyborg said as the engine of his so-called "baby" purred.

"Raven and you are in charge, Koriand'r! If any trouble comes up, just call us," Robin yelled from the back.

Her green orbs watched her friends depart from the garage and once they were speeding off, she turned off the lights and closed the door. With her back pressed against the door and her hands against the cool surface supporting her, she choked out a dry sob. How had the perky and inquisitive young girl used to be turn into a depressing teen like herself? Weren't these the girls where girls her age were going out and taking in all life were to give?

"Starfire, are you all right?"

As her eyes lifted from off the floor, she met the dark purple eyes of her teammate, Raven. Quickly, Starfire altered her expression and used that fake smile of hers to wipe away the sad look on her face. Another mask, different attitude … just to keep the people she cared for most happy. Yet she could see her friend was not impressed at her now "happy look."

"You could've gone out with them if you wanted to. You really didn't need to stay," Raven informed her friend coolly.

"Oh no, I couldn't. They are all too happy to add an extra bunch to their litter." She waved her hands in front of her face.

There was a long, intense pause as the two titans stared at each other. Starfire with her happy smile and Raven with a questioning look on her face. Could it be that Raven was already onto her? She had hid the "other" part of her so well …

"And you really don't have to hide the fact that you were about to cry earlier."

"Cry? What makes you think that?"

"Starfire, I know you. You have been my ally and friend for almost ten years. I know you more than you think." Raven's words and eyes punctured right through Starfire's heart.

Had she known that Raven knew why she acting this way … Things could've been way different, so different. The girl balled her hands into fists as her head lowered, avoiding the other titan's gaze. Low whimpers began and tears followed afterwards-- emotions were building up inside of her and they wouldn't stop.

"Do the others ... Do … Do they know about this?" Raven shook her head in response.

"Then why haven't you talked to me in the first place?! Why did you have to act like them?! Am I not good enough for the Titans … For my friends anymore? Do I know reach, what you call, your _standards_?!" Starfire cried out.

"Do you think I could do that before? You would've just denied it and acted like little Ms. I'm-Ever-So-Fecking-Happy, isn't that right Star?" Raven retorted while calmly watching her friend break down. "I'm sorry I had to talk to you now like this, but Star, we do care about you. And if you can't believe what I'm saying, you might as well leave the Titans."

It took a moment for Starfire to regain movement of her body since crying was taking up so much energy. She then lunged into Raven's arms and buried her face on her friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Raven …" Starfire mumbled as her sobs were nearly under control.

"That's ok Starfire, as long as you don't ruin my best suit." The auburn headed girl backed away wiping the tears on her arms. "Well … I guess since it is my fault for having a decent, girl-to-girl," you could tell Raven was having a hard time admitting this, "chat … I was thinking …"

"Hmn?"

There was sigh from Raven. "Let's go grab the beer and talk."

Starfire nodded happily as her friend floated away down the hall towards the kitchen. She followed and began to wonder if there was someone up those stairs actually trying to light a path for her.

: ch 01 _Reality_ & **Illusion** :

**Author's Note**: I've had writers block about what to happen in the second chapter and I think the ending was crap. However, I had to finish it for you all, but don't worry! There will be a scene in chapter 3 of what will happen with Raven, Starfire, and the beer. ) and no, nothing slash-ish. You bad people think I would actually do that? Anyway, please review again because it makes me happy seeing your wonderful words. Flames are welcomed, but makes xandiira a sad lil' puppy. Remember, if you have any ideas, e-mail me at and I'll see what I can do with them. I cannot make promises on ideas, but I can make a promise on releasing long, good chapters. I'm glad you people like it, and thank you once again.

Be a good reader and support the author's by reviewing. )


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